


Spider-Man: Halloween is for Hookups

by d0d0bird



Series: Marvel: Tales to Tantalize! [7]
Category: Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alcoholic Jessica Jones, And a Shag, Attempted Seduction, Awkward Peter Parker, Bully Flash Thompson, Bully Liz Allan, Bullying, By Which I Mean Pansexual, College Student Peter Parker, Comfort, Cunnilingus, Dorks in Love, Drunk Jessica Jones, Drunkenness, Embarrassed Peter Parker, Embarrassment, Everyone Is Gay, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Flash Thompson Bullies Peter Parker, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, HBIC Liz Allan, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Humiliation, Humor, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Insecure Peter Parker, Jessica Jones Is a Mess, Jessica Jones has Issues, Liz Allan Bullies Mary Jane Watson, Making Out, Mary Jane Watson is a Good Bro, Multi, Oblivious Peter Parker, POV Peter Parker, Pansexual Peter Parker, Past Liz Allan/Flash Thompson, Peter Parker Actually Treats Mary Jane Like a Human Being, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker-centric, Poly, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous Peter Parker, Polyamory, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Malcolm Ducasse, Protective Mary Jane Watson, Public Humiliation, Rejection, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Sex, Situational Humiliation, Social Humiliation, Teasing, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, but all the hookups are sober, holidayfic, wedgie, wedgies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 15:50:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21164174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0d0bird/pseuds/d0d0bird
Summary: It's Halloween and time to party! The hottest party on campus is Flash Thompson's, where the motto is "Halloween is for Hookups." Anyone who's anyone will be there.Flash and Liz's bullying has left Peter insecure about his sexual inexperience, so Mary Jane takes it upon herself to bolster her boyfriend's confidence by playing wingman for him at the party. Unfortunately, Flash and Liz are at the party as well and both would like nothing more than to see Peter and MJ fail.





	Spider-Man: Halloween is for Hookups

Laughter filled the autumn air as Peter winced in pain and embarrassment. His compression shorts were being jammed up and into his crotch and butt, cutting deeper into him with each tug. All the while the onlookers pointed and laughed. 

“You tell those other honor dorm dweebs,” declared Flash, pulling the waistband higher and lifting Peter, “that THIS is how the rest of us feel about you eggheads getting all the good rooms!”

This was met with general agreement from the crowd, who proceeded to cheer Flash on as he bounced Peter up and down. This continued for some time until one voice finally spoke out.

“Flash!” shouted Mary Jane, pushing through the crowd, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like?” asked Flash, still yanking, “I’m teaching this nerd a lesson!”

“Put my boyfriend down!”

“Boyfriend?!”

Flash dropped Peter in disbelief. The indignant boy hit the dirt hard and grunted as he slowly brought himself up to his knees. He groaned and shoved both hands down the back of his pants to fix the wedgie. The crowd continued to laugh at the sight.

“This loser?!” shouted Flash, “Are you kidding me, MJ? Look at him!”

“Come on, Flash,” moaned Peter as he got back to his feet.

Flash grabbed Peter’s collar and pulled him close. The two locked eyes angrily for a moment before Mary Jane ran up and physically inserted herself between the two. She backed away with Peter. Flash shook his head and chuckled.

“You just don’t get it, MJ,” he said, “but if you change your mind, remember my Halloween party is this weekend. Don’t forget: I’m still on the market!”

“Yeah!” cheered Flash’s buddy Charlie, “and Halloween is for hookups!”

Flash held a Halloween party every year. Him and his buddies lived in a house together and frequently hosted parties there. They were some of the most popular parties on campus and hookups were inevitable. The frequency of such hookups at the Halloween parties in particular had resulted in the phrase “Halloween is for hookups” becoming popular on campus.

Flash and the others walked off, leaving Mary Jane and a dejected Peter by themselves. Mary Jane placed her hand on Peter’s shoulder and squeezed it supportively.

“It’s okay, Tiger,” she assured him, “Flash is an idiot. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Poor, pitiful Parker,” sighed a woman behind them, “Whatever will you do when your girlfriend isn’t there to stand up for you?”

“Liz?” realized Peter, looking up to see his former crush strut right up to the two of them.

Liz Allan was wearing a blue plaid skirt with a white blouse and black tights. She walked hips-first and asserted a confidence that commanded attention. It was rare she was seen without her entourage, but today it seemed she had graced Peter and Mary Jane with a more personal interaction.

“And Watson,” she continued, “How much of Parker’s time are you going to waste before you realize your mistake?”

“This coming from the woman who dated Flash Thompson,” responded Mary Jane angrily, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What do you want, Liz?” asked Peter, uncomfortable with the conversation’s subject matter.

“I want Watson here to stay away from my ex,” said Liz, looking Mary Jane up and down.

“You’re insane,” scoffed Mary Jane.

“Flash is into you,” said Liz coldly, “and you and I both know that there’s now way _Parker_ here will keep you satisfied. 

Peter’s stomach twinged at the implication of that statement.

“For your information,” said Mary Jane sternly, “Peter is a fantastic lover!”

Peter’s face turned bright red. Liz let out a long and hearty laugh. His face turned redder.

“I knew you were an actress, Watson,” chuckled Liz, turning and walking away, “but I never would have guessed you were such a bad one!”

Peter hunched and twirled his thumbs uncomfortably as he listened to Liz’s laughter as she walked away.

“Why did you have to say that!?” asked Peter nervously once Liz was out of earshot.

“What?” asked Mary Jane, “Aren’t you proud of it?”

“Come on, MJ,” groaned Peter, “Don’t make fun of me. I’m still getting the hang of-”

“It’s not a joke, Peter.”

“I- Seriously?”

“Tiger,” smiled Mary Jane, “You’re gentle, sensitive, and caring. You listen to what I want and communicate clearly.”

“That’s not what Black Cat said…”

“Come on,” she frowned sympathetically, “She was just saying what she needed to say to hurt you. You know that.”

“Maybe…”

“That’s it!” said Mary Jane, throwing her hands up in the air, “We’re going to do something about this!”

“About what?”

“We’re going to give your sexual confidence the boost it needs,” she announced, “Let’s go to Flash’s party. Halloween is for hookups, and I’ll bet you can hook up with anyone you want there!”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good-”

“Sure it is!” insisted Mary Jane, “I’ll help you out. You’ll do great!”

“If you say so…” muttered Peter nervously, “Just promise me one thing?”

“What’s that?”

“PLEASE don’t make another scene with Liz like that,” begged Peter, “She kinda scares me…”

“Deal.”

*** 

Jessica knocked on the dorm room door.

“Coming!” shouted Peter from inside.

When the door opened Jessica burst out laughing. Standing there holding the door open was Peter wearing a brightly colored Captain America costume. The tight nature of the costume only served the highlight Peter’s scrawniness compared to the strong iconic muscular image of the original captain. He held a plastic shield the size of a small dinner plate in his free hand. The tightly fitted mask was pulled over his face and looked positively ridiculous.

“Jessica!” whispered Peter, embarrassed, “Don’t! Just… Get in here!”

“Oh my God,” laughed Jessica as she walked in and Peter closed the door behind her, “You look like SUCH a complete dweeb in that!”

“Hey!” whined Peter.

“I mean I like you, kid,” she continued, still laughing, “I really do. But even _I_ want to give you a wedgie right now!”

“Please don’t,” requested Peter meekly, “Did you bring the sheets?”

“Yeah,” nodded Jessica, finally getting ahold of herself, “Yeah, one second.”

Jessica lowered her satchel to the ground and dug through it, pulling out her camera, notepad, thermos of whiskey, food wrappers, and finally a large crumpled up dark green bedsheet. She tossed it to Peter, who caught it out of the air, looking it over excitedly.

“That the right color?” she asked.

“Sure is!”

“Good,” said Jessica, “You’re lucky they didn’t fit my bed. What’s this for again?”

“MJ’s costume. She should be here any-”

There was a knock at the door. Peter answered it. When the door opened Jessica burst out laughing again. Mary Jane was wearing a knee-length yellow dress with long sleeves, a black belt across the waist, green boots, and a green pilot’s helmet with little wings on it.

“Jessica!” whispered Peter, doubly embarrassed. 

“What are you supposed to be?” Jessica asked Mary Jane through continued laughter, “Amelia Earheart’s dorky sister!?”

“This is MJ!” said Peter indignantly, ushering her in and closing the door behind her.

“Oh I figured,” said Jessica, “Only your girlfriend would embarrass herself this badly for you!”

“Hey!” protested Mary Jane.

“She’s Golden Girl!” insisted Peter earnestly, “You know? Captain America’s girlfriend? From the comics?”

“You know those are all propaganda, right?”

“I know,” admitted Peter, “but I still love them. I read every single one growing up. They were all about standing up for what’s right no matter how hard it is, you know? And that’s important to me. I still remember the first time I read the comic where Red Skull has Cap cornered, but he gives that speech about never giving up. Red Skull just laughs at him of course, but Cap doesn’t falter. He stands true to his beliefs and faith in his friends. And then he’s proven right when Golden Girl and Bucky show up to save him!”

Mary Jane smiled at Peter. He was positively giddy talking about Captain America. It was a specific nerdy excitement he only got when talking about Cap, photography, or biology. Mary Jane was quite endeared by it.

“Holy shit,” groaned Jessica, “You are making it even HARDER not to wedgie you. Can I give you a small one? Real quick? Just one. I’ll make it light. Please?”

Peter considered it for a moment. Then he nodded.

“Okay,” he sighed, turning his back to Jessica and lifting up the back of his costume’s shirt.

“No!” shouted Mary Jane, jumping in front of Jessica, “No, no, no. You can NOT!”

Mary Jane shot Peter a look of disbelief and disappointment, confounded as to why he would agree to that. He shrugged.

“Wow,” sighed Mary Jane, “You self-esteem needs more work than I thought.”

Then she turned back to Jessica.

“And you must be Jessica Jones,” she feigned.

In truth, the two had already met. When Jessica learned that not only had Peter told Mary Jane he loved her, but that he had also come out to her as Spider-Man, she opted to confront Mary Jane directly about how to treat Peter. Jessica had ordered her to pretend the talk had never happened. They were certainly on the same page in regards to treating Peter right, but the aggressive nature of the confrontation still made Mary Jane uncomfortable. 

“That’s me,” said Jessica, “Nice to meet you, Red.”

Jessica and Mary Jane shared a tense stare for a moment. Peter had no idea what to make of it.

“Anyway,” said Jessica, “I should get going. Try not to be the biggest losers at this party, okay?”

“Have a happy Halloween!” called Peter as Jessica walked out.

***

_Ding-dong!_

Peter and Mary Jane waited on the small porch of the house. Mary Jane had added a small green cape to her costume, cut from the bedsheets Jessica had provided. Flash’s party was well underway now; they could hear it going on inside. Charlie opened the door and let them in. Peter wasn’t sure Charlie would have normally let him in, but his mask might have hidden his identity.

Once inside, Peter and Mary Jane awkwardly navigated through the crowded rooms of the house until they found some space to stand in. The lights were dim, bats and skeletons lined the walls, and everyone was wearing different costumes. What smelled like pumpkin-themed drinks were made and distributed in the kitchen. Halloween-themed music played across the house's sound system. The energy was high and the mood was both eerie and fun.

“What now?” asked Peter nervously.

“Don’t ask me,” smiled Mary Jane back, “You’ve got this, Tiger!”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on,” she said encouragingly. “Give it your best shot! What’s the worst that can happen?”

Peter chose not to entertain that hypothetical. Instead he looked around at the various partygoers, making note that some had already started making out in various corners in the house. He had never tried hooking up with someone at a party, so he wasn’t even sure where to start. Then he saw Michele Gonzales.

Michele Gonzales was a pre-law student, but Peter had shared a few gen ed classes with her. He didn’t know her terribly well but did have to admit to being extremely attracted to her. Tonight she was dressed in red skinny jeans, a black tube top, and a pair of devil horns to make up a devil costume. Mary Jane snickered as she caught Peter staring at her.

“Go for it!” whispered Mary Jane, nudging Peter toward Michelle.

Michele, who was refilling her drink, looked unamusedly at Peter as he nervously approached her. Then he remembered the costume he was wearing and pulled the mask off, making eye contact with her as he did.

“Hi Michele!” he said cheerily.

“Hi… Kevin, was it?” she responded.

“Peter, actually.”

“Huh,” said Michele, “Could have sworn it was Kevin.”

“You could call me Kevin if you want!” offered Peter, feeling the anxiety growing in his stomach.

“No,” she said, “It’s fine.”

“Anyway,” muttered Peter, “How are you? What’s up?”

“Not much.”

Michele had broken eye contact with Peter by this point. She was eyeing other people in the room and hardly listening to what he was saying. Peter felt compelled to try something different.

“You know, I’m dating MJ!” he blurted out.

“Good for you,” she said, now annoyed.

“I mean we’re in an open relationship,” added Peter, “So it’s not like I’m unavailable tonight or anything.”

“Are you…?” realized Michele, “Coming on to me?”

“...yes,” admitted Peter.

“I’m not interested.”

“Okay…”

“You’re really not my type.”

“Got it.”

“I mean, look at you! I could snap you in half.”

Peter could only frown in response. That certainly didn’t make him feel good about himself. He looked desperately over to Mary Jane on the other side of the room, hoping for support. All she could offer at that distance was a sympathetic shrug. Peter returned his attention to the rejection he was receiving, wanting it over with.

“Sorry for wasting your time,” muttered Peter.

“Apology accepted,” said Michele coldly.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” yelled Charlie from the house’s staircase, “It’s time for the man of the hour: FLASH THOMPSON!!!”

The eerie music playing over the sound system suddenly cut off. Then it was replaced with another song. Peter recognized it. The lyrics were unmistakable. It was the Spider-Man “theme song” that had gone viral a few years back. Peter actually quite liked the song; it reminded him that there were plenty of people out there who liked Spider-Man. Although he had to admit he was uncomfortable with the song being used to introduce someone who had tormented him so much. He wasn’t even sure why the song was chosen. Once he saw Flash though, it all made sense.

A door burst open at the top of the stairs. A tall and muscular man emerged from the room, wearing a full body Spider-Man costume. Peter recognized the roar of triumph as the costumed jock thrust his arms into the air. It was Flash. He leapt up and onto the railing of the stairway and slid down as the entire party cheered. He landed on his feet at the bottom and began to flex his muscles, earning the cheers of more guests.

Peter quietly groaned. Ever since Spider-Man took down Mysterio and saved Empire State University, Flash had begun to vehemently voice his support for the webhead. He saw Spider-Man as a warrior like himself and constantly expressed his respect for him. The irony was certainly not lost on Peter, although he did derive a small amount of satisfaction from Flash’s strange devotion.

Peter’s eye caught Liz. She was standing with her usual crowd of attractive friends, casually sipping her drink as she eyed Flash at a distance. Liz had dressed in black skinny jeans and a tight yellow and black shirt, putting together a vague “bee” aesthetic that was enough to justify her admission to the costume party while still not looking too much like a costume. She did not seem happy to see Flash

“Wow,” sighed Micheleas happily she stared at Flash, “Now THAT’S a man!”

Michele rushed over to Flash along with various other guests who had mobbed him for his attention. The music had shifted back to Halloween tunes by now, but the impact of Flash’s entrance was still being felt as he charmed guest after guest. Peter nervously shifted around on his feet until he felt Mary Jane’s comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry about that,” she said, “Looks like that first try didn’t go as well as planned.”

“Can we go now?” asked Peter weakly.

“If it’s important to you, we can,” said Mary Jane, “but I say you give this another shot.”

“What makes you think it’ll work this time?”

“Because this time you have the best wingman at the party,” she smiled, “Me!”

“How does that work?”

“See Carlie Cooper over there?” asked Mary Jane, nodding her head at one corner of the room.

Peter looked. Carlie, who was dressed in a full Princess Leia costume, was sitting alone and looking about the room. Peter knew her from his science classes; she was a fellow biology major. She was a quiet woman who always dressed modestly and kept her hair up. She wore glasses at all times, even now in her costume. She and Peter had exchanged a few words, but he didn’t know her terribly well.

“Yeah?” said Peter.

“Follow my lead.”

Peter walked nervously behind Mary Jane as she approached Carlie. The nerdy girl looked up at the two as they got closer.

“Peter! Mary Jane!” she smiled, “Great costumes!”

“Thanks!” smiled Peter back, “You too!”

“Aw,” she shrugged, “I just got it at a costume store.”

“Still,” insisted Peter, “You wear it well!”

“Peter is always trying to get me to watch those movies,” added Mary Jane.

“She’s only seen A New Hope,” explained Peter, sitting next to Carlie.

“Stop!” gasped Carlie with a smile, “No!”

“I’ll let you two nerd out,” smiled Mary Jane, waving at them as she walked off.

Mary Jane confidently walked up to Liz, ignoring the small platoon of friends guarding the queen bee on all sides. Mary Jane took a drink out of one of their hands with such confidence that no one questioned it. She leaned on the wall beside Liz, staring her down as she took a sip.

“What do you want, Watson?” asked Liz.

“Nothing,” said Mary Jane, “Just relishing in the fact that my boyfriend’s got game.”

Liz looked over. Sure enough, Carlie and Peter had begun making out. They looked a little silly, Peter still dressed as Captain America and Carlie still dressed as Princess Leia with Peter’s small plastic shield lying beside them. They were both very enthusiastically going at it. Their hands began to grope at each other’s lower back and hips as they became more impassioned.

“Is that supposed to impress me?” scoffed Liz, “So Parker managed to hook up with a lonely, horny nerd like himself. Big deal.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s YOUR boyfriend hooking up with tonight?” asked Mary Jane smugly, “Oh, that’s right. Your boyfriend left you.”

“I left him,” said Liz spitefully.

“Sure you did,” smirked Mary Jane.

Liz glared at her. Mary Jane was playing with fire and she knew it, but it was worth it to stick it to Liz. It was almost funny; she was a little jealous when Peter had first told her about his crush on Liz in high school. Of course, she didn’t know at the time that Peter was harboring an even bigger crush on her. Once she found out that Liz had brutally rejected Peter, she felt compelled to prove Peter’s worth to Liz. Mary Jane wanted to make it clear what Liz had lost and what she had won.

“Did you see that!?” asked Peter excitedly, rushing back up to Mary Jane, “I did it!”

“Sure did, Tiger,” smiled Mary Jane, “Where did the lucky lady go?”

“She’s making out with Charlie now,” said Peter, still excited.

Liz scoffed.

“What?” asked Peter.

Before Liz could answer, Seymour O’Reilly walked up to them. Seymour was a tall and heavy set man with a scruffy beard and a perpetual smile. Tonight he wore black dress pants, a red tie, and a white collared shirt with blood splattered across it. Peter smiled at the look and recognized it instantly.

“Shaun of the Dead!” he called out happily, “Cool!”

“Thanks!” smiled Seymour, “Digging your costume too, Cap.”

Peter blushed. He had totally forgotten he was wearing the costume and REALLY wasn’t expecting a compliment on it. Seymour was on the football team with Flash, but had never been nearly as cruel as his teammate. He actually spent most of his time with theater students like Mary Jane. She knew and trusted him quite well as a result.

“You’re not the only one,” said Mary Jane, “Carlie was liking it quite a bit too.”

“Can’t blame her!” smiled Seymour, “I take it you two are in an open thing, then?”

Peter nodded excitedly, not quite able to bring himself to speak. He was used to people like Seymour belittling him, not being friendly with him or expressing interest like this. He wasn’t sure what to make of it, but it felt incredibly reassuring.

“Good for you!” said Seymour, “That’s great for making sure you both still feel free to explore yourselves!”

“Or a convenient excuse to sleep around,” mused Liz snidely.

Mary Jane glared at her. Seymour and Peter both looked around the group of friends uncomfortably.

“Come on, Peter,” whispered Seymour, “Let’s give these two some space…”

Mary Jane’s staredown with Liz remained unbroken as Seymour grabbed Peter by the wrist and led him away. 

***

**Left my bag in your dorm. When are you getting back tonight?**

Jessica stared at the unanswered text with impatience. Peter was normally exceptionally good at texting back. What was keeping him this time?

**Let me know ASAP. My whiskey is in there**

The texts went unanswered for far longer than Jessica was willing to wait. Having loitered around campus for some time now, she decided to just break into the dorm and take the bag. She figured it would be easy enough to ask forgiveness later.

She walked in behind another student to get past the front desk of the dorms like she had done before. She avoided looking at the student working the front desk, knowing that any questions would only cause her more of a headache. She waited at the elevator around the corner, knowing she was almost past the tricky part.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”

_Fuck._

“Yeah?” asked Jessica.

She turned to face the man speaking to her. He was a slender man with a gentle smile. He wore a tight, flattering T-shirt and skinny jeans. He looked Jessica right in the eye, which was always something that made her distrust someone.

“Sorry to bother you,” he said, “but could I see your student I.D. real quick?”

“I left it in my room,” lied Jessica.

“Then you won’t mind if I come up with you and confirm that,” he said, still smiling.

“Sure,” accepted Jessica, knowing any other response would draw suspicion.

The elevator arrived. Jessica walked in and pressed the button for Peter’s floor. She watched the man carefully as he walked in behind her and offered his hand.

“My name’s Malcolm, by the way,” he said, “I don’t know if we’ve-”

Jessica saw the elevator doors beginning to close out of the corner of her eye and acted accordingly. She pushed Malcolm back with a considerable amount of her strength, sending him flying out of the elevator and into the wall across the hall. The doors closed just as he was scrambling back to his feet.

Jessica smiled in satisfaction. That was easy enough. Now all she had to do was make sure she got out without anyone noticing her. She figured her best bet was to leave through Peter’s dorm window, since she could easily make the jump down to the ground below. 

Jessica crossed her arms impatiently. This was a particularly slow elevator. Several moments later the elevator doors opened.

“Nice try,” said Malcolm, standing directly in front of her with two members of campus security, “but these dorms have stairs too. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.”

_Fuck!_

***

Mary Jane smiled proudly. Peter and Seymour were still going at it. Peter had actually wrapped his legs up and around Seymour’s torso, had hugged his neck, and was passionately pressing his mouth into his. Seymour kept Peter supported up on him with two secure grips on Peter’s butt, gripping it tightly through the blue spandex. Mary Jane was incredibly proud of Peter and frankly a little turned on watching him make out with Seymour. She made a mental note of the sight for later. Peter started to let up and Seymour set him back on the ground. The two held each other a little longer before sharing one last kiss and separating. Peter skipped giddily back to Mary Jane.

“That felt great!” he squealed.

“Looked like it!”

“Yeah!” continued Peter, “I’ve always been scared of guys like him! I never thought about how it’d feel to… You know.”

“Proud of you, Tiger.”

“Where’s Liz?” asked Peter, “I thought you two were chatting.”

“She’s not the best conversationalist,” said Mary Jane, “Now what do you say we get you laid?”

“What!?” yelped Peter.

“Yeah,” said Mary Jane, “Pick someone. Anyone at the party. Let’s make this happen!”

“MJ, you don’t have to-”

“We don’t have to do it if YOU don’t want,” interrupted Mary Jane, “but don’t you worry about me; I’m onboard. I know you’d do the same for me if I was feeling insecure.”

Peter nodded. It was true.

“So pick someone!”

“Anyone?”

“Anyone!”

Peter looked around the party. He didn’t know most of the other guests, but he searched the faces for someone he did. As attractive as most of the guests were, he preferred to go to bed with someone he knew. Then he saw her.

“Sally,” he said.

“Ha!” laughed Mary Jane.

“What?!” asked Peter defensively.

“Sorry, no,” apologized Mary Jane, “It’s a great choice!”

Sally Avril was a friend of Mary Jane’s from the theater department. She was a funny and expressive woman with exceptional comedic timing and a fantastically charming sense of humor. She commanded the stage whenever she performed. She was a lot like Mary Jane in those ways, which is why Peter’s attraction to her made Mary Jane laugh.

Sally was always one to stand out in a crowd. Her Halloween costume was a bluebird and she had committed all the way. She wore a white and sky blue feathery romper, a matching boa, and orange leggings. She had painted her face blue and white and wore a fake black beak over her nose. Most wouldn’t necessarily consider it a sexy costume, but it was sharp and impressive.

“So what do I do?” asked Peter.

“Just go up and talk to her,” said Mary Jane, “The same way you would talk to me!”

“Okay…” said Peter nervously, approaching her.

Mary Jane watched Peter carefully until she was interrupted by an unpleasant voice.

“You made it!” shouted Flash, walking up to Mary Jane, “I knew you’d come around in the end.”

“Yeah,” responded Mary Jane tonelessly without turning to face him.

Her attention was focused on Peter. She knew he had a chance, but secretly she was a little worried. Sally genuinely liked Peter, but he wasn’t the type she usually went for. She was certainly open minded enough to give someone like Peter a chance, but if he didn’t come across as confident enough…

“I hate to break it to you, MJ,” said Flash, walking around to face her, “but I saw your boyfriend macking on Seymour earlier. I wish you didn’t have to hear it from me but-”

“We’re in an open relationship, Flash,” said Mary Jane impatiently, trying to get a read on how Peter was doing with Sally across the room.

“Wait, seriously!?” realized Flash, suddenly very excited, “That’s awesome! And it makes perfect sense!”

“Excuse me?” asked Mary Jane, now irritated.

“Well, with a boyfriend like Puny Parker,” explained Flash, “of course you would need some side action to stay satisfied.”

Mary Jane looked Flash up and down. He was still wearing most of the Spider-Man costume, but he had rolled the mask up so she could see his face. Mary Jane did not like the look on him. She hated to see the spectacular costume she loved wrapped around the hypocritical body of this blockhead. She wanted him to leave as soon as possible.

“Actually,” considered Mary Jane, “Yeah… Yeah, I could use some side action actually.”

“Yeah?” grinned Flash, stepping closer.

“Yeah,” whispered Mary Jane back, placing her hand on Flash’s chest, “but not here, I don’t want to make Peter jealous. How about you meet me… on campus. Say, behind Worthington Hall?”

“Campus?” asked Flash, almost suspicious.

“Yup,” she whispered, leaning in closer, “That way we can have some… Privacy.”

Flash nodded enthusiastically.

“When??” he asked.

“Soon as you can, big guy!”

That was the last she saw of him that night. She turned her attention back to Peter and Sally. She saw the two of them chatting and leaning toward each other. Mary Jane carefully studied Sally’s face and posture. She was smiling, but Mary Jane could tell she was still unsure. Her and Sally had performed a number of scenes together in class and actually knew each other pretty well. She saw Sally lean back away from Peter. That was it. If she had any interest in sleeping with him, he had blown it. Mary Jane wondered if there was anything she could do.

_Well, there is one thing..._ she realized.

Figuring she had nothing to lose, Mary Jane pulled out her phone and opened up her text conversation with Sally. She began typing away.

**Hey Sal, not to be blunt or anything but I can guarantee Peter is underselling himself to you right now. This boy eats pussy like he’s starving. 10/10 would and will bang again**

She sent the message and watched closely. Sally kept nodding as Peter spoke to her, leaning back farther as she was getting ready to get up. Then she checked her phone. Her eyes widened as she flashed a quick look to Mary Jane and then back to Peter. Mary Jane kept watching until she saw Sally lean in again.

_Yes!_ she thought, _Get it, Tiger!_

***

Jessica impatiently drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair. She had been waiting in this office for almost 15 minutes, which was 15 minutes longer than she had wanted to be on a college campus. Her hope had been to quickly grab her bag, head out to some Halloween-themed discount night at a cheap bar, find someone to go home with, and enjoy her night. Instead she was sitting here in a guidance counselor’s office like she was back in school.

_Damn it, kid,_ she thought to herself, _I blame you for this…_

Malcolm finally walked in, passing Jessica and sitting at the desk across from her. She eyed his name plaque on the desk: Malcolm Ducasse. He was a guidance counselor at ESU, which frustratingly gave him the authority to enlist the help of campus security.

“Thank you for waiting,” he said, folding his hands together and smiling at Jessica, “I’m sure this is nothing, but we’re particularly wary of people sneaking into the dorms on Halloween night. I’m sure you understand.”

Jessica rolled her eyes.

“So, Jessica Jones, would you mind telling me why you’re here?”

He recognized her. She looked back at him with concern.

“You ARE Jessica Jones, correct?” he asked.

“Would you believe me if I said it was a Halloween costume?”

“No,” chuckled Malcolm, “but I would give you points for creativity.”

“Why am I here?”

Malcolm’s face turned serious again. He sighed. He leaned back in his chair and considered for a moment before speaking.

“Are you here to see Peter Parker?”

Jessica froze. She had no idea if she could answer that without compromising Peter’s other life.

“Before you answer,” explained Malcolm, “You may want to know that while you were waiting here, I found a thermos of whiskey his room.”

Jessica still said nothing.

“Now,” continued Malcolm, “I don’t know if you’re familiar with ESU’s drinking policy, but this could be very bad for Peter. It could even jeopardize his honors’ scholarship.”

“Do you know Peter?” demanded Jessica.

“Do you?” asked Malcolm back.

“What if I did?”

“Then we’d have something in common,” said Malcolm, “I’m Peter’s counselor. He’s one of my favorite students. He’s bright. He’d never be careless enough to leave alcohol lying around his dorm.”

“That’s because it’s mine.”

“I figured,” nodded Malcolm, “You see, Peter and I have more sessions than most of my students. We mostly discuss his coursework and academic future, but we sometimes discuss his personal life. He hasn’t mentioned you by name, but he has talked about a friend with a drinking problem. I never would have guessed it was a minor celebrity, of course.”

“I don’t have a drinking problem.”

“But you do carelessly leave whiskey in college kids’ dorm rooms.”

“Do you have a point?”

Malcolm thought for a moment.

“Tell you what,” he said, “I won’t tell anyone about the whiskey. Neither you nor Peter have to worry about it. In return, you sit here and read through the alcohol safety booklet from our drug prevention program.”

“HA!”

“Or,” continued Malcolm, “I give NYPD a call and have a chat with them about you trespassing on university property.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’ll go get you the booklet,” said Malcolm, standing up, “Don’t take it personally. I’m just doing this because it’s in Peter’s best interest.”

_Goddamnit, kid…_ thought Jessica, _I’m going to get you for this…_

***

“Hey, MJ!” said Seymour, “Have you seen Peter?”

“Sorry, Seymour,” chuckled Mary Jane, “Someone else got lucky with him tonight.”

“I just wanted to say good-bye!” said Seymour, almost defensive, “But now you’ve got me curious! Who?”

“Sally Avrille.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope! They’re up in one of the bedrooms right now.”

“Ha! Good for them. You’re lucky, by the way,” added Seymour, “Peter’s a crazy good kisser.”

“You’re the lucky one,” said Mary Jane with a grin, “I had to teach him that.”

The two shared a short laugh before a sharp voice cut off every conversation in the room.

“WATSON!”

Mary Jane spun around to face Liz. She stood facing Mary Jane, face red with anger.

“What is this I hear about Flash leaving to hook up with you!?” she demanded.

“Oh please,” dismissed Mary Jane, “I wouldn’t be caught dead with him.”

“Nice try,” said Liz angrily, stepping closer, “but I knew from the start you wouldn’t be satisfied with Parker! Now where’s Flash!?”

Mary Jane was done with this. She turned away from Liz to resume her conversation with Seymour. Liz, not accustomed to others defying her orders, gritted her teeth and clenched her fists in anger. She threw up the back of Mary Jane’s yellow skirt, grabbed ahold of the pink briefs she was wearing underneath, and yanked up as hard as she could.

Mary Jane let out a surprised shriek as she felt the cotton rip up and into her. She turned red with embarrassment when she felt the cold air on her buttcheeks and realized Liz had exposed her entire ass to the party. The room went quiet. She heard some partygoers gasp and others snicker. It was mortifying.

“Ha!” laughed Liz, resting her hands confidently on her hips, “Nice undies, Watson!”

_Calm down, MJ,_ she told herself, _Remember, Peter asked you not to make a scene._

Trying to stay composed, Mary Jane ignored the laughter and whispers as she pulled her skirt back down, reached up into it, and plucked the underwear from her butt. She heard more snickering. She kept her focus away from Liz. She wasn’t going to let this break her. She could handle it.

“Oh, what?” scoffed Liz, “You’re just going to stand there and take it like your loser boyfriend?”

_That’s it._

Mary Jane spun around and tackled Liz to the ground.

***

The door chime jingled as Jessica stumbled out of the store.

_I swear to God, when I see that kid…_ she thought to herself.

Jessica Jones had just spent no less than 2 hours painstakingly reading through a booklet while Malcolm sat beside her and grilled her to make sure she had been reading it thoroughly. The process was excruciating. 

Of course, afterward Malcolm hadn’t seen fit to return the whiskey he had confiscated. Jessica, having now lost most of her Halloween night, had made her way to the liquor store next to campus. It was closer and cheaper than any bar and she was impatiently sober. She had quickly downed the amount necessary to get her drunk right there in the store before they politely asked her to leave. She had finished another half a bottle before they kicked her out. 

Now she was stumbling down the streets near ESU late at night, completely unsure with what to do with herself. She was beginning to get the spins as she walked, making a point to move slowly to avoid falling over.

She blamed the situation on Peter. Not only had he not responded when she texted him for help getting her bag back, but he had told Malcolm about her drinking. Even if he hadn’t intended for it to get back to Jessica, it was the reason Malcolm had decided to hold her instead of letting her go. It was the reason she had missed out on Halloween.

“MJ?” shouted a vaguely familiar voice, “MJ!”

She looked up and to her surprise, saw Spider-Man wandering around the Worthington Hall building across the street on campus. She had no idea what Peter was doing here or why he would shout for Mary Jane while in costume, but Jessica had more important matters to deal with. Jessica walked right across the street and up to Spider-Man.

“Hey,” said Spider-Man as she got close, “Who are y-”

Fresh out of patience for the night, she grabbed Spider-Man by the shoulders and forcibly turned him around. She ignored his questions and pleas for mercy as she pulled back his spandex pants, grabbed the back of the waistband of his grey boxer briefs, and hoisted him up and into the air.

Spider-Man let out a squeal of pain as the grey fabric stretched higher and higher. Jessica threw him to the side, landing him in a mud puddle. He lay there, groaning with copious amounts of elastic still sticking out of the back of his costume.

“That’s what you get!” she shouted, walking off angrily, “Asshole!”

“…why?” whimpered Flash to himself as he lay there in the mud, underwear thoroughly wedged into his body.

***

Peter lay under the covers beside Sally. Both of them were sweaty and breathing heavily. He looked over at her nervously. To his surprise and pleasure, she looked back and smiled. The bluebird makeup was smeared all over her face. Peter was sure it was all over his too now. Bluebird and Captain America costume pieces lay all about the room among Flash’s clothes. Peter hadn’t realized it was Flash’s room at first, but apparently a number of couples had used it for sex at his parties in the past. It was unclear if Flash knew about any of it.

“Did you… Um…” asked Peter, “Like that?”

“Yeah,” smiled Sally, “MJ was right about you.”

“What did she say?” asked Peter shrilly, suddenly extremely insecure about the idea of Mary Jane discussing his sexual ability.

“Shoot,” realized Sally, “Maybe I wasn’t supposed to tell you…”

“She talked me up?”

“Yeah,” admitted Sally, “Right before we came in here, actually. She texted me. Sorry, you probably thought you had seduced me or something, huh?”

“Kinda.”

“Well I admit, she informed my decision,” sighed Sally, “but like I said, she was right.”

Peter considered this. He was fine with that. There were few things in his life he was prouder of than his relationship with Mary Jane. He was more than happy to have her seduce others on his behalf. She really was the best.

There was a knock at the door. Peter wiped his face off with the covers, pulled on his underwear, and went to the door. He cracked it open to see who was there.

“Carlie?” he realized, perplexed.

“Hi Peter,” she said, “Sorry to... Uh... Interrupt, but you might want to come out here. It’s MJ.”

Peter immediately grabbed his costume, pulled it back on, apologized to Sally, and rushed out the door and down the stairs. He came across Mary Jane as she was walking toward the front door. She did not look to be in a good way. Her dress had tears all over it, her helmet was missing, her makeup was smeared, and her hair was a mess. She was clutching a cyan blue shred of fabric in her hand. The rest of the guests were all gathered around something in the other room.

“MJ,” whispered Peter in concern, “What happened?”

“Sorry,” she frowned, “I know I promised not to make a scene, but…”

Peter suddenly realized the crowd was looking at someone on the ground. Then he started to hear the sound of Liz groaning.

“You didn’t…” he thought aloud.

“We should probably leave,” whispered Mary Jane, “I don’t think they’re going to want us around after that.”

Peter nodded and rushed out the door with her. She tossed the remains of Liz’s underwear aside and they began their walk home. Mary Jane told Peter what had happened. Peter found himself feeling odd mix of embarrassment, pride, and affection for her. Above all he felt incredibly supported. He told her that, but something still seemed to be bothering her. It wasn’t until they got back to his dorm that he asked her directly.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked as she threw herself onto his bed.

“You can help me get these damn boots off,” she grunted, “I’m so tired… I just want to relax…”

Peter knelt at the foot of the bed and unbuckled her boots one by one, sliding each of them off her feet and listened to her sigh in relaxation and satisfaction. While Peter was down there, a thought struck him. He gently placed his hands on the inside of either or her thighs, lightly stroking them up and down with his fingernails.

“Oh,” she smiled, lying down with her eyes closed, “That feels nice…”

Peter stroked higher and higher up her legs until he reached her skirt. He slowly rolled the skirt up and looked Mary Jane in the eyes, smiling excitedly.

“You think you still have it in you, Tiger?” she dared, “You’ve had a long night.”

“I always have it in me for you, MJ,” whispered Peter, “I know when I’ve hit the jackpot.”

He went down. Mary Jane let out a moan.

***

Peter knocked on the door.

“Come in, it’s unlocked!”

“Are you fully dressed?”

There was a pause.

“...yes.”

Peter opened the door and walked in. Jessica was still adjusting the loose T-shirt she had just thrown on. She returned to her laptop and sighed. Painkillers and a glass of water sat beside her on the desk. Peter held up Jessica’s bag.

“Sorry about that,” he said, placing it next to the coat rack, “I was a little preoccupied last night when I got your texts.”

“Yeah, I saw,” she said, “What the hell were you doing on campus in your costume?”

“What was I- What?”

“How drunk were you?”

“How drunk were YOU?”

Jessica was now thoroughly confused.

“Okay,” she said, “Why don’t you start by telling me how YOUR night went?”

So he told her. He left out the explicit details; he knew Jessica had no desire to hear that, but he did talk about all the different moments of pride and accomplishment he felt as well as how excellent of a wingman Mary Jane had been.

“Huh,” she realized, “Good for you, kid. But I wonder who I gave that wedgie to…”

“What?” 

“Oh, wait!” realized Jessica angrily, “That means I still owe you.”

“Owe me?”

“For making me spend my Halloween reading a self-help book!” she growled, standing up.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa...” panicked Peter, standing up himself, “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

Jessica made a grab at Peter. He dodged the grab and backed up into the wall. Jessica rounded the table and made an approach on him there to corner him. Peter leapt up and onto the ceiling and scurried across it to the other side of the room.

“Get back here you squirmy little…!”

“Wait! Jessica!”

Jessica continued to chase Peter throughout her apartment as he climbed about, jumping from wall to wall, and pleading for mercy as Jessica threw aside everything in her way to get to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Polyamorous Pansexual Peter Parker
> 
> I wrote this one for a Halloween-themed wedgie fiction contest


End file.
